My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
