So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
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