bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
