i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
