I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I'm both gender and math confused
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
