I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
