kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
