Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
