For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
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