I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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