I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Randomize
