His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
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