Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
