A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
