Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Randomize
