Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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