Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
