guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
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