consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
