Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
