I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
