So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
