I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
