she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
You're breaking my sexual little heart
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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