so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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