Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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