I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
