Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
