You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
