Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
