I got chris browned last night
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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