i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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