Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize