Fine. I'll sleep in my office
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
birth control should be required to get into college
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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