Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
