Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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