mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
