did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Randomize
