We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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