you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Can I color on your dick again?
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
