Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
