what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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