3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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