I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize