I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
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