Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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