I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
