textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
