i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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