My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
