is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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