I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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