Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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