Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Randomize
