all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I came so hard my ears popped.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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