You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
