You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize
