I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
