she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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