Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
