can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize