So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
