i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Randomize
