Christians are straight up FREAKS
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
this just has baby written all over it
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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