How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
