I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
