I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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