If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
